Early Riser

Okay, this waking up early thing is kicking my butt! I used to be an early riser and when I fell off, I didn't realize how hard it would be to get back on track. I set my alarm for 6am (should 5:30am) because that's the time I need to wake up before work in order to get a certain number of things done (and have time to start my day off right). Well, this morning I woke up at 3:45am. Okay, way too early to be up. Plus, I had only had 4 hours of sleep. So I stayed up until 4:45am, then dosed off and woke up again at 5:20. By that time, I felt that since I hadn't had a sufficient amount of sleep, I should just cut off the alarm and sleep in. Fast forward to 8:36am! So now no matter what I do, I feel like I'm 2 1/2 hours behind schedule which makes me feel crappy. Not to mention, I've come across at least 4 other blogs that talk about being an early riser and how successful the days are now. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with being a nightowl. Whatever works for you is great, as long as it equals productivity, not laziness. But since I've been an early riser before and I like sleeping at night, the nightowl thing just isn't me. So, I'm getting back on track tonight by making sure I do some sort of cool down exercise before bed (taking a bath, reading a book, cutting the t.v off and drinking tea...). Most blogs said not sticking to it everyday at first would happen, so I'm even more determined now. Here's to another road trip!

Advice for Married Couples

First let me say that I am not married. I have no clue how to keep a marriage going because I’ve never had to. I don’t know how to forgive and move forward with someone after you’ve been hurt deeper than you could ever imagine. I don’t know how to get a marriage back on track after the kids have left the nest. I don’t know how to put SPICE back into a relationship when you’ve become bored with each other and life has become a series of routines. But, I do have some advice as to how to have a successful marriage. One might ask, “How can you be giving advice?” Well, let me tell you. I desire marriage. I desire a long lasting, joyful, commitment with someone and I believe it will happen, so I’ve been preparing for years. How? By studying, observing, and questioning happily married couples. Now, no offense to those who have been married five years or less, but you’re still considered “new” so I’ haven’t been asking you anything. Enjoy yourselves. I’m speaking of the 13, 20, 45, and 50 year married couples. I’ve been looking at YOU! I’ve decided to post the responses given to me because in an age where marriage seems less popular than long time partnership, or when it seems like it’s just “something to try”, I believe people are looking for real answers as to how to have something that seems almost a thing of the past. I’ve wanted to know how couples have kept it fresh and for once it was nice to hear some answers with explanations. Sometimes when people give advice, they give something simple like: “Keep the lines of communication open.” But, does anyone who has communication problems really know what that means? Or how about “Keep God in your relationship.” Although good advice, many Christian couples are getting divorced. I have a hard time believing that none of them kept God in their lives. So these answers that I’m posting from couples come with explanation. Hope they help and offer enlightenment.

1.Keep God first- This means individually and collectively and it has to do with every aspect of your life, not just Sunday service. Apparently, when couples bring their own relationships with God together, share with each other, pray together, attend church together, and read the bible for guidance, things are easier. Notice I didn’t say EASY. Putting God first is also tough because it means that instead of yelling at your husband or wife when you’re angry, you go to God first, tell Him the problem, and pray to let Him solve it. We’ve all heard the saying “Let the Lord fight your battle.” Well, do it and trust Him to do it. You ask God to bless your marriage on your wedding day, so why not ask Him to keep it going?
2.Communicate and be friends- I had to combine these because you can’t have one without the other. Women like to talk, we all know this. Husbands, understand this point, your wife sees you as her friend, not just her husband. You know what that means? They want to tell you everything! They want you to know what’s going on, how it happened, and what it meant to them. There’s a reason why they don’t call their girlfriends when something happens. The day you married them, you became the new best friend, so naturally your wives want to talk to you. Men, as much as you may hate it, trust me…the day your wife doesn’t talk to you is the day you need to worry! The reason these two go together is because if men truly begin to see their wives as their best friends, the ones who are there for them no matter what, the ones they can rely on and be normal around, then men will open up more. Husbands, your wives are your best friends. So treat them as such.
3.Say what you want- Now obviously this advice came from husbands. Okay ladies, t.v. has duped us into thinking that if a man really loves us, then he will know what is wanted at all times. NOT TRUE! That’s t.v. land, not real life. Women are complex creatures and as Raymond Barone said in his sitcom “Your idea of romance keeps changing.” And it’s true. Is it romantic to get you flowers or to clean the house when you’re tired? If your man gets the wrong type of flowers, is he still romantic? Sometimes, husbands just can’t keep up with everything women want, and it’s not like the list is short. So wives, tell your husband what you want. Tell, don’t yell it at him. And I was told to throw this in- if you want it done at that moment, say it.
4.Strive to make each other happy- this was great advice given to me by a couple who seems to have gotten it right. It was explained that a marriage is about becoming one. That means you can no longer be selfish. If you want a happy home, husbands think about what would make your wives happy and feel loved. Then do it. Wives, vice versa. If your goal is to make each other happy, then disappointment is not lingering around. It doesn’t mean that every single need is met (that’s impossible), but you’ll be a happier couple than you were before.
5.Hang out with other happily married couples- this seems like such commonsense, but I guess it’s not. Other happily married couples can offer support and encouragement when you need it. Although single friends are great, sometimes they can be so objective that they forget you’re in a committed relationship. “DUMP HIM/HER” is not always the best answer.
6.Don’t ignore problems- this one is pretty self explanatory. Problems are problems no matter where they are. Either you address them now or later when they’ve grown into an avalanche. During this time, stay close to rule #1.
7.Don’t sweat the small stuff- I definitely had to ask what was meant by small stuff and mostly wives answered this one. Small stuff is him leaving his clothes by the bed instead of putting them in the hamper. Yes, it’s annoying and you’re not his mother, but if he takes care of you, helps out in other areas, makes you feel loved, and is an all around good husband, are the clothes really a deal breaker? What qualifies as “small stuff” is the annoying things that at the moment bother you, but at the end of the day, really don’t change the scope of your marriage or make you want to run screaming bloody murder. You make your own list.

Now, these are the big ones I’ve gotten so far. I’m still observing and questioning, so don’t think this is the end. But it’s a nice start! Thank you to the couples who offered great advice. Here’s to another road trip!

Fasting

Well, I've made a decision to fast. There are many in the world who choose to fast for various reasons. Christians usually fast for spiritual reasons while non-Christians fast for health benefits. My fasting is both a spiritual one and secular one. I'm not fasting from food, but from television! Not completely, but I'm allowing myself two hours of television a day. This will be a hard one. Since I haven't been doing much this summer, t.v has become my companion. It's on when I'm the room, it's on when i'm not in the room. Sometimes, I put it on mute when I'm doing work. I won't cut it off, but put it on mute! Does my work really get done. Absolutely not because I'm looking at the t.v. every five minutes. I've been reading blogs on personal and professional development and I've read topics from financial freedom to becoming an early riser. By the way, I have no determination when it comes to being an early riser and I've got to get in gear before work and school start. The latest one was giving up television (or hours of it).

Why is this needed you might ask? Well, I've pictured my future many times. I feel God's shown it to me. It's there just waiting. Every great opportunity, every new idea, every vacation to the beach, even a beach house! But I know those things will never come in my present state. Simply, the woman I see in my future looks nothing like the woman I am right now. The woman I see is financially free and I'm not. So I'm getting control of my finances. The woman I see has many roles that require energy, time, and organization. I used to have that and when I did, I was up before 7am and I was eating better and taking care of myself. Through the personal/professional development blogs and articles, I keep reading about CEO's and president's and entrprenuers linking their success to the time they rise each morning. Conclusion- rising earlier means you have more time in your day. You might actually get done with work early and enjoy your family! Who knew?!

Well, part of my failure in not being an early riser is that I've been conusmed by the television. Absolute, pure, crap could be on the television and I'll still watch it. This means that instead of winding down by 10 so I can at least be in bed by 11pm, I'll watch t.v. until 12am, which is when King of the Hill comes on. Then I'll watch that until 12:30am and I'll be wired until 2am. By that time, I cut my alarm off because I know I won't wake up at 5:45, or 6am! You see the problem? So, I'm fasting from t.v. Wish me luck!

Rebelling

When did letter writing, talking on the house phone, and reading a good book become a past time? I actually tried writing a letter a few days ago, only to come to the conclusion that I needed to practice my handwriting. It looked like chicken scratch! I've become so use to typing that handwriting tires my hands out. That's so sad. And the house phone? I think I'm actually getting a workout from WALKING to the house phone instead of reaching under my pillow (while lying on it) to answer my cell phone. Book reading! Not e-books, but hardcover books. I've started a new one by John Grisham. When I stopped reading, due to the words moving on the page, I looked at the clock to see that 2 hours had passed. Amazing!

It's nothing new to see that we live in a techno-saturated world. Everything's done over to computer, even telecommuting has become popular. I'll admit, the idea of waking up and walking down the hall to my office sounds great. But what was the purpose behind telecommuting? What was the purpose behind the internet? What was the purpose behind the cell phone? They all cut out tedious time in a person's schedule. No driving to work. No having to call people back after listening to the answering machine. No waiting 3 days for a letter to get to you, then waiting an additional 3 days for the person to receive yours. I remember the summer after my freshman year of college, my best friend and I would write each other every week. We'd handwrite actual letters and buy stamps and envelopes to mail them. And I'm not ancient! Hold on...I need a moment to regain my composure.

Now, back to 2007. All of these things were invented to save us time and give us more hours to enjoy life. What have we done? We've filled those extra hours with more responsibilities. Some of us have chosen to sleep longer. Some of us have chosen to work longer. But how many people chose to fill those extra hours with things they've always wanted to do? So I'm rebelling. If I was given extra hours to enjoy life, then I'll enjoy it. I'll write letters, read more books, go to museums, art galleries, and play with my dog. I'll check out cafes, drive to the beach, and see a play. I encourage you all to do the same! Enjoy life and let technology do the rest. Here's to another roadtrip!

Should Spouses Receive Permission to Speak?

Enviornmental racism? Campaign fundraisers? Remarks by Ann Coulter? U.S safety? There's so many things to talk about, but I feel the need to comment on spouses speaking during presidential campaigns. Now, please forgive this moderate feminist, sometimes conservative, sometimes extremely liberal, more spiritual than religious blogger from offending anyone. But, it seems to me that when your spouse is running for PRESIDENT, you need to watch what you say if you want him/her to win. Last election, it was John Kerry's wife who had everyone talking. First of all, I loved this woman because she was strongly opinonated and let the world know that she had as much to say as her husband and had some intelligence. Hooray for women! Now we seem to have Elizabeth Edwards doing the same thing. Whether it's going against her husband on the gay marriage issue, or defending John from outright horrific remarks by others who get paid for being insulting, Mrs. Edwards has made sure that she is heard. Once again, hooray for women!

But, but, but, but, is it hurting her spouse's campaign? Did Mrs. Kerry hurt her husband's campaign? I can't help but wonder if it's doing more harm than good to show that you have a voice. Is it always good to act on passion and speak out on a subject, even without consulting your husband or his campaign workers(who's trying to win an election)? For this, I would have to say that it seems pretty selfish when you take matters into your own hands and 1) bash another candidate, 2) disagree openly with your running spouse, or 3) argue with another political figure without some kind of plan. Unfortunately we still live in a world where timelines clash. For every person who feels spouses in a campaign ought to be free and speak up regardless of the situation, there's someone else who feels they should be quiet and look good.

I'm not sure I believe spouses of candidates should receive permission to speak about an issue, but I do believe that whatever is said should be strategized before it's spoken. Here's to another roadtrip.