The Society of Criticizing Mothers

What is it that makes mothers criticize their daughters, but not see it as criticism? Do they just wake up one day and decide that that will be the day they knit-pick at every decision the daughter makes? “Are you gonna wear that?” “He’s not the right one for you dear.” “Well, I’m not trying to make you feel guilty, but…” Maybe it’s another rite of passage women find out about as they age. I can hear the mothers right now sitting around their witches’ brew plotting out the critical remarks they’re going to make to their daughters in the future. I think the guidelines read: If your daughter shows signs of early crows feet and hair loss due to her frustration, you’re on target!

When I make a decision (or am about to make one), I usually end up running my ideas past my mom because when she finds out what I’m doing, I'll get a speech where everything I need to know will be outlined for me. The question I then have to ask myself is: Am I getting this information because I need it, or because she wants me to remember that she's still the mother and I will forever be the child? Daughters, you will be able to tell which way you're mom's leaning by her tone. If it sounds sarcastic, or if the information is so logical that a 1 day old baby would know it, you will then have your answer.

I often wonder if I'll be that way when I have children? Even now I can hear the Society of Criticizing Mothers calling me to the dark side...

Motivational Speaker

Here's a website I designed for a speaker who was ready to go online. Check it out!
www.charlied12.com

The Joys of Writing!!!

So I’ve been working on my book for 2 months now and I can honestly say I’m being consistent with it! YEA!!! Usually I’d start the process of developing the plot, characters, background and storyline, then quit because I thought of a better story. Now, I dedicate time to writing at least every other day. I’d like to say I write everyday, but at this moment, that’s a stretch. I’m basically reading and grading papers everyday, so the writing has to come at night while I’m in bed. But I have been experiencing the highs and lows of this whole writing process. Let’s look at a couple:

- The first week I wrote like I had an entire story locked up inside of me that was dying to get out! I was thinking slower than I was writing and my pen was trying to catch up with my brain.
- Around the second week, I successfully got through Chapter One and at 3am, I woke up and thought of a good ending to my story. But, the ending would change the overall purpose of the book! So I had to rewrite a couple of things…no biggie.
- End of second week: Okay, so I changed my ending and the first couple of pages so everything would flow. Then I thought of how great it would be if one of my characters could tell her version of the story as if she were having a flashback! How the heck do I get that across on paper?
- By the third week I decided to read some new books, but to read them as a writer (notice storyline, how the author develops the characters, the format of the book, etc.). Well, as we all know, when there’s a good side, there’s a bad side. Doubt began to creep in and the question, “How am I ever going to write like that?” reared its ugly head. Note to myself: Take a break from writing.
- Week 5: Chapter Two started off great, but then I went in some other direction, only to realize that I’ve created a story within a story. Can that work?
- Now: So I’ve just bought my second book, signed up for an online course studying and analyzing the first book I read, and luckily I got my book back on course. I’m halfway through my second chapter, and I began revising my first chapter!

So as you can tell, I’m getting better after a couple of weeks of going back and forth. I’m getting into my characters and doing research on other areas I want to incorporate into the story. So far, everything’s good! Now if I can just stop waking up at 3am…

Generational Differences

The one difference I’ve seen between my parents’ age group and my age group is that my age group doesn’t want to work for anyone. We want to work for ourselves if at all possible. People in my parents’ age group would like to work for themselves, but have talked themselves out of doing it. They say things like, “I’m too old” or “It’ll take too long to get my feet off of the ground.” What happened? Is it that they’ve worked so long for someone else that they can’t conceive of going out on their own? Is it the fear of not having a safety net? I hate to burst everyone’s bubble, but there’s no such thing as a safety net.

People are losing jobs everywhere and what better time to take a chance than now? I was talking to one of my friends who discussed a conversation he had with his parents. He told them that he eventually wanted to start a business. His parents reply wasn’t, “Great son, and we’ll help when you’re ready” or “Oh! What do you need to get started?” No, their reply was, “Why would you want to do that? Can’t you just stay where you are?”

What kind of mess is that?! What’s happened to everyone’s dream? Why does it seem like more people are settling for “just okay”? I know that not everybody’s an entrepreneur, but there are a lot of people in the world who have talents and aren’t using them. What will it take for people to start using their God given gifts? My parents' generation don’t seem to want to, and my age group have the dream, but aren’t sure how to get there. There needs to be a bridge, a connection between the two groups. Maybe then we can inspire one another.